Saturday, February 1, 2014

Morning Pages Update

"KNOW THYSELF"
As I promised I will do updates on the Morning Pages Challenge so we keep the discussion going, we continue going deeper and we stay focused and motivated. Here are a few personal experiences and thoughts on it that have come up so far.

We started the Morning Pages Challenge on Monday and am observing quite a few things happening in my consciousness.
I am just 6 days in and there has been quite a few SHIFTS already. From the first day I started going deeper in the layers of consciousness. Usually this type of awakening awareness is first greeted with resistance, then maybe aggravation; it can be upsetting or just throw you off a little bit.  I have always been a person that does not fear continuously going deeper and lifting the veils of unconsciousness. Every single one of us has parts of their consciousness hidden. It's our path to continuously get to know ourselves on a  deeper level. With no fear. Accepting and allowing yourself to be "you". So generally whatever our "next level" of consciousness is that is what is hidden from our waking self now. The moment we lift it - that's an a-ha!- moment and then we go off to a deeper or higher place, however you wanna call it. There is always deeper to delve in. The moment you get to know your true self in fullness that's enlightenment and you have no more work to do here on Earth. So for most of us there is quite a bit of work to be done still :)
Anyways, the first few days of the Morning Pages Challenge have held space for deepening of my awareness. They brought light to areas of my psyche that were not on the surface and it also dug up frustration or unease. To be honest I wanted to quit because as much as I wanna be quietly aware of the machinations of my subconscious sometimes theres just so much other work to be done that I don't wanna deal with feelings. I stuck it through and like a veil lifted all of a sudden on day six. Optimistic truths were revealed. I am at heart an optimist so it quite common for me to understand life with an optimistic perspective.

Other observations - on a more mundane level: I did get to plan each and every day while writing my morning pages and I seem to have had higher productivity. More of my chores got done during this week.
I have had a lot of creative ideas and new ideas in general. 

In the quiet moment of the first waking seconds - when we are still not fully awake we seem to understand things with a different perspective. first thing in the morning we don't filter WHAT IS through the mind as much. I have had a more quiet, clear perspective on things.

Also I am writing down some of my dreams. I seem to be remembering more of my dreams. 

Another thing- this is my second time doing the morning pages so writing has been flowing. The first time I did this "exercise" there were days that were very challenging. And it would take me 40 minutes to fill out 3 pages with huge letters. :) 

Then when things were just getting good I got Sofie. So first thing in the morning I'd be cleaning poo, pee and vomit from the floor, so quiet writing was out of the question for a while.. She (Miss Sofie) just didn't seem to be into it haha
Please share your experiences.  Give yourself the permission to experience depth. You are not supposed to always do everything in an I-AM-SO-HAPPY manner. You are not supposed to always be happy and positive . Rather be free to be bare and naked with yourself and get to know yourself. And going deeper and deeper should not be a breezy process. It shouldn't be hard either, but for sure it should be profound.

This is my actual Morning pages Journal. I didn't even notice the writing on the front. Cool synchronicity :)
NAMASTE

31 comments:

  1. This is hard...really hard. I'm finding I am at the part one doesn't want to think about. Sooner or later, one way or another, apparently, one will be forced to come to terms with the hard stuff...I have spent lost years wishing for a person(s) I have known, to have to pay a price...Today, I realized while writing, that they have...Not at someone else hand...but, their own. Justice is always served...Maybe not how we think it will be...but it is always served...I think often, we are our most brutal judge, jury, and jailer. I would stop writing in this journal if I didn't believe that something positive would come from it...All of the best things are the most difficult to achieve...

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    1. Ah Laura, yes everything somehow falls into place eventually. Do we get there by kicking or screaming or do we decide to flow is up to us. i know that trusting the process is hard to learn yet once we do we realize it was the path of most growth. We can never be concerned with justice as it's not our job but everything follows the law of action and reaction. Sending Love to you Sister

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    2. Okay Ali, I will sit and think about that. The reaction is tricky...The slow process of breath and focus in yoga helps make it cleaner, and a bit easier to pause and consider before "kicking and screaming". I do wish to "flow" and continually work with the skill of doing so...Sometimes though, it feels as if one has swallowed a rock and it is lodged in the heart area...And, I mean that literally. I think that I am a naturally compassionate person, and work hard to move through life with open eyes...and, trying very hard to withhod judgement...I think the most difficult thing is to find a peaceful way to allow hurt or criticism to roll of and even, to feel compassion toward the offender. Logic tells one that cruelty is almost always inflicted by someone who has been hurt and damaged themselves...This, for me, is the greatest challenge. When doing good for the sake of just doing good , is when one feels the happiest and most at peace....like everything is as is should be. I think the writing process we are working on is at the "churning of muddy water" part...I am sure that passing on through is/ and will continue to happen. I will continue with an open heart and mind. I am sure that this path you have begun to carve out for us has many truths and roads to follow...Growth is inevitable. Love and blessings to you too my sisteri...I hope Sophie is feeling better...Maybe a bit of spring fever...Sparky always purges when the seasons change. For them, the path is clear...

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    3. During the writing this morning, I realized that holding on to anger is not the issue...It is that having ddifficult things, and then having survived them, somehow makes those "things" belong to me. I don't really wish ill will, or revenge, on anyone I don't think...It's just that letting go of survived wounds is hard because you've carried them so long they have become like your trophy...Maybe understanding that with allow me to bury the trophies and move farther along the path in a positive direction...Just saying it makes the load feel lighter. Love to you and Miss Sophie...Mr. Sparky woke me by pressing his lips onto my lips...I always kiss him...he always kisses me back...xoxo, ever, love

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    4. haha little sneaky Sparky! well... it's a process and the best is not to judge it, and not to identify yourself with all you might be on the surface.... let it flow and see where fit goes. be open and bare with yourself but also go slow so its not too much at one time... you wanna process everything <3 love

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    5. Oh wow, the "not identifying with yourself and all you might be on the surface" (face value...right?) really struck a cord...not to judge (but to observe)...Okay...The way you stated that makes sense to me. Seeing as this exercise and growth is a bit ephemeral and difficult to grasp, the comprehension is wholely appreciated. I have been writing in a more detached manner...Maybe the explosive part was part of the process. I will continue then, as suggested, to write and watch more as a detached observer. Let us see what happens. How is your writing , and process going Ali? I hope you are doing well with it. Love to you, and smootches for Sophie...I hope she is getting her daily banana fix! xoxo, L

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    6. Also, isn't it interesting how the thought writing and dreams are beginning to match up...wow...right?

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    7. yes, i think its key not resisting any part of it. anger is fine. suppressing anger- not a good idea ever. suppressing negative thought -also a recipe for disaster. flushing and self-honesty is key. and just being fluid with the process. its all comes and goes. most things don't stick unless we resist the,....
      ok so dreams are matching....????
      i am noticing more of my dreams as well
      the writing has become light, even too light. lets see what next week holds for us....

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  2. I've been following your yoga practice for about a month or so now and love it. I wasn't sure if the writings have been encouraging me to get more done in a day or if it's the increased metabolism from your courses that have been driving me. Either way, thank you for your teachings. I hopped on board with this writing project a day late but I've noticed some things changing here as well so thanks for posting an update and providing an outlet for dialogue. I was getting worried there wouldn't be one and this would be a lonely journey.

    My daily writings wander from to-do lists and creative ideas to dark thoughts and past experiences. I've had days were the pen flows easily because I woke up bothered by something and I've had days where writers block left me frustratingly trying to finish the second page. I've come full circle on a few things and I've come away with a little better understanding of myself. Putting some of these bothersome things down on paper really helps free myself from them. I feel so content afterward. It's hard to describe.

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    1. Anthony same here. we seem to be at the same stage of the process. i love the to do list as much as the deeper realizations of things :) lets keep going and see how it unfolds :) love

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  3. I salute Ali and the rest of the practitioners ,
    I would like to add my little view on morning pages !
    I always do it now and then (though not always mornings and not always 3 pages) but definitely try as much as I can to let my thoughts surface and reveal themselves through it , so that I can observe them from a third person's view, and see them from a different angle. So some things that might agitate me and not be fully aware of them, writing helps deal with that. Like opening a conversation for matters , right here and now with your own self,find solutions, lead to conclusions, set new perspectives, move on etc.
    It also can do a myriad other things - think of the literature genres out there..there must have been a self expression initiative- we are all possible writers authors and poets :) we just might don't know it yet :D
    All and all writing helps not only to keep the flow of thoughts going , but also gives it a support so that they flow more smoothly , but can also pose a restricted pattern , so if that happens , I believe one must also aim to master his inner dialogue without the use of paper and pen, but by using his spiritual forces :)

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    1. excellent. thats what it is. you said it perfectly.morning pages, free writing is just one tool that can serve us know ourselves better, on a deeper level. but yeah it can reveal or better our talent in writings, expression...

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    2. I don't think I have been as excited seeing an "excellent" under my writings since kindergarden lol :)

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    3. haha V. you are too funny. let me put my glasses on and check for mistakes :P (ps she doest wear glasses- bluffing)

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  4. hi Ali....my practice is still on..frankly speaking starting days of my practice were difficult..the moment i wake up and start to write...i was not able to think as much...and in first three days all the negative thoughts ,fear of my exam result and my weaknesses were on paper..but on 4th day the sum positive and beautiful thoughts were coming related to relationships, friends, life..and i used to enjoy writing it more and more on paper as i am continuing with days..every day practice is getting better and stronger..i am feeling more positive even helping other,,sharing good thoughts with friends and family..i am damm worried about my exams results which are likely to be come by the end of this month and due to overcome that tension i am also writing on a blank page that i have cleared my exams...like secret book teaching ...and all this thing actually help us Ali....it gives us more confident of success and positive vibes
    thanks a lot Ali for this idea. i would say you are a yogistar :) lol .... i would pass this idea to other people and tell them to pass it out to others :) u

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    1. i think negative thoughts, fears, etc is not failing the exercise. on the contrary we all have things to flush out, wounds to heal and ways to deepen our understanding of our own selves. so flushing negative thoughts isa great thing. think about it- they are inside anyways.. whether you know it or not. its better to be aware of it that to go about your day carrying it around not aware of your inner world. so keep going. ou are doing good. it will change as you go. love
      ps good luck on the exams :P

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  5. Ι feel i am doing it wrong.. Sometimes it seems like a common journal, what i did yesterday what are my current thoughts.. it is boring even me. I do want more spirituality in it, i just dont know how. I have been also writing my dreams and i notices that i have strong dreams everyday, that is something i found out, its true. I also noticed i have many negative thoughts, so i decided today on my 6th day to stop with them and instead write down positive affirmations. Do you think that is ok?

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    1. I think it's best to let the negative thoughts out. When you are writing affirmations you are thinking and wishing. When you are letting the negative thoughts out you are actually allowing the deeper parts of your psyche to come forward so you can understand yourself better, your motives, your fears, whats holding you back. So actually- dreams and negative thoughts, Thats great. You are getting somewhere. keep going

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  6. Ali, thank you for sharing your thoughts in your update. I feel as though I can relate to it to some degree. Although I didn't get the feeling of wanting to quit, I did feel almost fearful to materialize some of my thoughts onto paper. I felt afraid of making them permanent, in a way; afraid I would not be able to take them back or even that someone else may read them. On the other hand, I have made interesting revelations about my driving fears and motivations in life. I've found that one of my biggest fears is death itself. I'm hoping to be able to move through this. I'm interested to see where the consistency of this practice leads me… With love, Ann

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    1. Ann, this is great and very interesting.... yes - observe it, try not to draw conclusions, let it unfold. Death itself is an interesting fear.... especially in terms of looking at it from a buddhist perspective, etc. also you can destroy the pages right after you write them if that will allow you to be more honest and brave. love

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    2. Thank you for your response, beautiful Ali. I really like your suggestion of destroying the pages if that will enable me really be able to go deeper. As far as my fears around death and its uncertainties, perhaps there is at least one silver lining to this fear in that it shines a light on the preciousness of life and each present moment. With love.

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    3. ah that's a great way to put it :) also everything transforms. its never ceases to exists- just transforms

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  7. respected Ali,
    My day starts with getting up early at 0600hrs when the first thing i do is drink a glass of water ,while my two dogs deliberately jump upon me for they know that they are about to go out for a walk.but I thank God while drinking water everyday that i was introduced to yoga through one of his angels that is Ali Kamenova and yes it has changed my life completely because getting up early in the morning had never been so exciting ....your yoga videos have absolutely been amazing.Yoga has shown and led me to so much of happiness,peace and love.we have stooped eating out and enjoy more at home and my two dogs really like that.my wife also really likes your videos.i have always kept things simple in life and I am very candid in expressing my thoughts so I really would say that all your yoga videos are amazing and that now while doing some of your videos I just follow your voice and it feels great..I have never been into writing though i read everyday...in the end I would only say God bless you with everything in this world and give you all the happiness and please never stop your videos because they have become a part of our daily lives...thanks....:)

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  8. I was always reluctant to start my morning pages. Probably running away from myself in way :) I wanna give it a try though. May be not every day, but taking it easy. thanks! :)

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  9. I feel like writing these morning pages has been very beneficial to me. It's allowed me to remember more of my dreams than I can ever remember. Almost every day I have written down some parts of my dreams. As I am a list person, I have been writing out “to do lists” in these pages, as well.

    More importantly, it has allowed me to get deeper in touch with some things that are bothering me. There are a few recurring themes that keep coming up. Writing them out hasn't necessarily shown me any answers, but it has brought light to the fact that I keep thinking about these things.

    One of the things that keeps coming up is my battle with optimism. I see so many people around me in pain and struggling. A lot of my friends are in poor health, while others are financially sinking. I can barely watch the news anymore. It seems like the issues that are really important to me are barely discussed in everyday life, almost as if the masses are completely unaware of the world’s problems - poverty, hunger, obesity, violence, war, climate change, destruction of ecosystems, the coming energy, water and food crisis. I am optimistic about my own future, but less than optimistic of the future of humanity. Writing these pages has made me realize I have to figure out a way to fight for optimism.

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    1. Wow you brought up a serious issue here.....though I believe we all understand and are aware of all of these matters , it is a different thing how we chose to act or react about them...I mean the behaviour and perception we decide we will have with them. But I don't believe there is a single person being completely unaware of these global matters you are referring to...at least a version of these...but its still a question if by choosing to make our own paths do we actually add any solution to these problems or are we just following another path of the already patterned way of life that will continue these events, or are we truly making a difference and if yes by which means. I believe in the power of energies that bond us, just like they bond every structure in the universe , the way they interact with each other, to help produce or not... I believe our energy that we put out can really make a difference in the way things are forming. Each and every single of us has his unique energy , and all of them can interact in profound ways...So optimism in that point of view is somehow irrelevant with the facts...I believe it is a way of seeing possibilities and infinite potential around us. First seeing it , then maybe being led by what you see into the right directions.

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    2. Wow. You took it next level. I've been seeing recurring themes as well. One in particular is something Osho touched on -egolessness. I write about how I don't understand it but then later I wonder why I'm so self serving and how that has affected my world. I think I'm beginning to see facets of my ego contained within my writings. Why I am who I am and the struggles contained within.
      With every tiny facet of understanding comes one more piece to the puzzle. Things get a bit clearer as I get closer to my internal (true) self and not the self I'm trying to convince the outside world I am. The emotional self and not the physical self.

      Sorry if this makes no sense. It just kinda came out. I've got a terrible habit of deleting shit so for once I'm not going to and I'll toss it out there instead.

      Thanks everyone who has responded. All your insight has helped me in some respect.

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  10. It has been about 30 days now, right? I am wondering how you found the exercise overall and what you took from it.

    I also did this challenge. I found it very helpful in my creative writing. It forces me to produce new material without judgement or thinking "this is not good enough." Over the past month I have brainstormed 4 blog posts, published 2 blog posts, brainstormed the beginning of a fiction story, and journaled a lot. I found each different type of writing fulfilled something different for me, but all in a positive way. I think this challenge has really started some much needed momentum in my life. I brainstorm a project in my morning pages and am then inspired to continue working on the project. I have experienced more overall confidence. I am able to call myself a writer again!

    The free writing aspect really helped me overcome some crippling inner criticism/judgement. Thank you for posting the youtube video that pushed me to return to a practice that I love. I appreciate the much needed reminder. Thank you!

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  11. Your blog is everything! I inspire people's paths to discovery. And I just found out about Morning pages! I did a little video on it too (on the #newnoir). Let me kow what you think! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-TpPjLejAQ&feature=youtu.be I love doing the free-flow writing. It's like a burden lifts every morning. I like listening to Carla Bruni's Pandora station, with a cup of coffee.. :-) So nice to center myself every morning. You are perfection!

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